with ALL the damn places i've lived in the last five years: olympia, portland, minneapolis, st. paul, brattleboro, rapid city and now los angeles, i have gone through growing pains and pangs like no other.

packing up, shipping out, saying goodbye, driving on lonely roads, discovering, exploring, shaking hands, making friends, gaining family members, documenting memories, making sense of it all with my photography, getting lost, laughing, running, leaving, crying, death, rebirth, fear, awakening, honesty, tests - mad tests, recognition, love, loneliness, craving, yearning, emptiness, fulfillment. LOSING. GAINING.

it was realllllllly hard for me (and he) to leave south dakota; i put my HEART AND SOUL in to that place, those golden fields, those clouds that were my pillows, those lakota warriors, leaving our beautiful house, our home..again & again...

...so my husband and i have decided to really redefine home. when i get sad, or impatient about when or where our next home will be and for how long and how i miss my old homes, like, i miss the pacific northwest, i miss wearing my hoodies in the mist, i miss the mountains that cover and comfort me in alaska, i miss the bonfires and endless laughter fests, i miss the endless pacific horizon, blah, blah, etc., etc., this song has been the soundtrack for our life for the last couple of months. it cheers me up like no other, it puts life in perspective for me. no joke - every time i hear it, i get goosebumps and feel so lucky and happy to have my husband right by my side, as my constant. as my home. always, everywhere, home.


Stevie said...

I love this Layli. Troy and I have often discussed the same thing- that we could make any 'shelter', or surroundings, a 'home' if we had eachother and Savanah. It is really pretty relative. Once we put our little pictures on the walls and our little special dishes in the cupboards, I think any home would feel comfortable because we have each other and the little things that have meaning. Anyways- thinking about you and happy for your transition!!

Anonymous said...

Layli, I've met you, through Elise- and I love what you have written here about home, and the song you posted. It resonates with the sad, hopeful, exuberant gypsy in me : )

Thank you for posting!