Everyone should have a sacred place. when i move to a new city, that is my first priority. i have to find it and until i do, i don't cease the driving around, with my window rolled down, real slow, to discover my place. this place for me in south dakota is the badlands and this particular field. i was talking to my dad about this place the other day and he said that it is a Holy place. i am so thrilled that he feels that way too. every time i go here, i immediately feel at peace and feel i am really able to connect with myself and also with nature in a deeply spiritual way. its almost effortless... to me, that is when all of the world, all of the shit and the hopelessness, all of the laughter and the tears, all of the storms and calms, all of the anger and the hate, all of the healing and peace, all of the joy and tranquility, that is when it all makes sense. then the wind comes and purifies...

“Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves.” -john muir

| i love john muir so so so much, i'm kinda obsessed with him. but don't worry, this blog isn't turning into one of those blogs that just posts other people's quotes. but sometimes quotes are just the best way to tie your feelings up and share them with others. |

"you must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land, there is no other life but this."

—

Henry David Thoreau

p.s. it is freakin' snowing today. don't ask me how i feel about that, cos i'm trying to be full of gratitude.

do something liberating today.

Today i am grateful for my lady friends. it is serendipitous that i came across these three women today. i was feeling kind of down, apathetic and yucky. i happened to come across a blog post, a facebook status & a wonderful conversation, all in the matter of one hour. sometimes i think that our hearts don't want to feel down, so there is always things around us, if we look, that are able to lift us up and enlighten us and our situation. Recalling that five years ago, my friend Grace chopped off all her hair, today she challenged us to "do something liberating today". this got me thinking...

“Anybody can be happy in the state of comfort, ease, health, success, pleasure and joy; but if one will be happy and contented in the time of trouble, hardship and prevailing disease, it is the proof of nobility.” ~Abdu'l-Baha

I was speaking with a friend of mine a couple weeks ago and we were talking about the relationship between unhappiness and ungratefulness. We were talking about how people (including ourselves) can get so addicted to finding something that isn't going right, that isn't going exactly the way we want it to. She said something really poignant - "every time i feel upset, or down, i take a moment and always, always think of something i am grateful for." There is such power in doing this and making it a habit. i will admit, sometimes its freakin' hard to do, especially when you have to get up early for work and the shower isn't warm enough or long enough and the forecast calls for SNOW in MAY (WTF?!??!)...BUT if we are able to do this, we are able to slowly transcend these negative patterns that keep us stagnating in our own mental filth (hah!).

It is so important to always be appreciative of the blessings we DO have, not the things we DON'T have. i think if we are able to do this, we are able to flip the switch on bad patterns of behavior. focus on being appreciative!

I have another very inspiring, amazing friend (i am so lucky to have so many amazing, inspiring people in my life!) who has a blog on her counseling site - her office located in vancouver, check her out here. if you live in vancouver, you should definitely call her up! she has amazing quotes and thoughts for improving happiness and self-esteem. here are some quotes that i snagged from her page, to share with all of you. (thank you Tabasom!):

• “We are taught you must blame your father, your sisters, your brothers, the school, the teachers -- but never blame yourself. It's never your fault. But it's always your fault, because if you wanted to change you're the one who has got to change.” ~ Katherine Hepburn


• “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt



• “Our dependency makes slaves out of us, especially if this dependency is a dependency of our self-esteem. If you need encouragement, praise, pats on the back from everybody, then you make everybody your judge.” ~ Fritz Perls

My father and i were talking about all of this as well, and he reminded me of this passage (below). And as always, my Faith brings me out of any terrible time by offering a fresh perspective to keep me on track. Abdu'l-Baha, son of Baha'u'llah, Prophet of the Baha'i Faith speaks about "the prison of self" and his days spent unjustly imprisoned:

"Freedom is not a matter of place. It is a condition...Unless one accepts dire vicissitudes he will not attain. To me prison is freedom; troubles rest me; incarceration is an open court; death is life and to be despised is honor. Therefore, I was happy all that time in prison. When one is released from the prison of self, that is indeed freedom, for self is the greater prison. When this release takes place, one can never be imprisoned. They used to put my feet in stocks so," and he put out his feet before him to illustrate and laughed as though it were a joke he enjoyed.

"I would say to the guard 'You cannot imprison me, for here I have light and air and bread and water. There will come a time when my body will be in the ground and I shall have neither light nor air nor food nor water, but even then I shall not be imprisoned.' The afflictions which come to humanity sometimes tend to center the consciousness upon the limitations. This is a veritable prison. Release comes by making of the will a door through which the confirmations of the spirit come."

more from this beautiful passage here.

On a side note, below you will see physical/photographic representations depicting my commitment to continue to kick my bad patterns and negative self talk in the a$$:

what do you do??

my niece is cuter than you.

hands diggity down.

tune in tokyo - a spring musik miks by yers truly.

have a great and wonderful listen - i know i am.

i have heaps of faves, though i really dig this DEAD MAN'S BONES & SHE AND HIM tracks.

| i made this deadly mix on 8tracks.com |

which is your fave??

my never-ending to do list

| spotted on the house of milk |

my family is the best ever.

i was just in the twin cities visiting my folks and family for a week. i just had to share with you these cute photos of my time there. my faves are the ones of my niece, elsa (of course). i have now dubbed her my "queen" and she will call herself queen, pronounced, "keeen" all the time. she made me kiss her hand over and over, all the while asking me to call her my queen. she is amazing!! here she is in her "queeny" little body with her golden crown that i got her - i just DIE @ the cuteness, its really too much:

me & the great Mississippi:

my parents are the hottest late 50 year olds i know. and i am not biased.

me and my buddy, poppa dougie fresh:

j-j-j-j-j-juxxxxtaposition!!

two rare and beautiful gems.

just in case you wanted to know, i have some pretty hilarious and ridiculously awesome friends. they always make me laugh and keep me up.

thanks to my homies rolise for this AMAZING clip. watch it and watch it gooood. also, take note of min 4:03. AMAZING.



and this jewel is from my dear friend in belgium, peefy. he has this serious talent of finding THE most phenomenal gems on youtube. i don't know how he does it with two little tots running around and a full time job. he must be a genius. yep. he is.

hey mike! did AWOL lose weight and convert to hard core, lime green christianity??

did you laugh your buns off? geesh, i know i did.

* i know its super lame to have part of the video clips cut off on the right, i'll be working on that. in like three months.

life doesn't need to evolve past sesame street.

i don't know about you guys, but i sometimes grapple with just allowing myself to be happy and joyful just for the sake of being happy and joyful. for some reason, i have it in my head that i have to WORK to DESERVE to be happy and that it comes after we have really pushed ourselves and worked really hard on improving one's character. i am REALLY working on changing this M.O. into merely letting go and thinking happy, positive thoughts.

my dear friend towfigh and i have all sorts of talks about all sorts of wonderful things. usually our conversations end in one of us laughing hysterically @ the other one who might be expressing a concern or personal struggle they are going through, which then in turn allows the other to take it easy on themselves or on life. and it was especially funny that she sent me this tonight as this is exactly what i've been grappling with:

this is my response to her sending this to me:

the most hilarious part of this is that i JUST had a talk with my yoga teacher that was super deep and intellectual and intuitive and it ALL boiled down to EXACTLY this. funny how the world works and how really, all we need is sesame street and friends to make funny faces with.

we all have SOOOO much to be grateful for and i for one, need to focus more on THOSE INSANELY WONDERFUL AND BEAUTIFUL things as opposed to other garbage just that just make me worried and uneasy and restless.

and holy man is it true...right??

who's with me??

here is another amazing excerpt on happiness that my mother sent me. it really spun my mind for about a week. i LOVE IT. here is the "grown up" version of the very wonderful 'happy thoughts' song by elmo:

isn't this talk AMAZING??? right??

who's with me??

--thank you, towfigh, for making me laugh at myself, as i am sure you are laughing with me. always.

if you two dear readers feel so inclined, post a comment sharing with us something that makes you happy!!

my father is addicted to walking.

“Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in where nature may heal and cheer and give strength to the body and soul.” - john muir

same trail, different season. this is what it looks like now:

this is what i want it to look like NOW:

(my dad had such a great and cute idea of taking a second photo of him in the winter, walking down the same trail, and of course, i loved the idea. isn't he just so lovable???)

"nobody at the wheel": thanks for making me laugh tonight.

i came across this pretty damn funny blog. and i like the aesthetic too. here are some of my top fave picks.

and for elise:

which one do you like best?

see more here: www.nobodyatthewheel.tumblr.com

Monster Truck Rally equals TOTALLY RADD.

we went to our first Monster Truck Rally last night and LOVED every stinkin' minute of it. we will definitely be repeat offenders.

are you kidding me with this tee shirt?

i just love this photo for many reasons. reason one is very obvious: the mullet man (if you pay close attn. he is in almost every photo) and reason two: the tattooed dude wearing an iron maiden tee shirt:

where do old early '90's prom dresses go to die?

2010 persian weddings (ew).

i would insert a photo but then i'd be a jerk. so use your imagination folks.

home to alaska soon.

To lovers of the wild, these mountains are not a hundred miles away. Their spiritual power and the goodness of the sky make them near, as a circle of friends. ... You cannot feel yourself out of doors; plain, sky, and mountains ray beauty which you feel. You bathe in these spirit-beams, turning round and round, as if warming at a camp-fire. Presently you lose consciousness of your own separate existence: you blend with the landscape, and become part and parcel of nature.

John Muir (1838 - 1914)